Welcome to the fight to END Alzheimer's and Dementia! I can't believe this is the 3rd year I have participated in the WALK TO END ALZ! It means a great deal that you would take the time to check out my site and learn more about my reason for raising funds to fight these terrible diseases.
I feel my story isn't much different than many others who come face to face with Alzheimer's and Dementia, it is one full of joy, love, heartache, pain, and most importantly faith.
If you've followed my journey in the past you already know my history and how this began, if you are new to my fight let me give you a brief history.
"My Mom, Shirley is my hero!" The word hero is thrown around a lot these days, but not in this case. My father passed when I was eight years old and my mom who had been a stay-at-home mom was forced into the workplace and to navigate raising a young child on her own. Mom and I were both very blessed to be surrounded by a loving family and close friends who helped us both navigate what was our new reality. As with anyone's life, the path was sometimes bumpy and there were times when we were thrown from our path and had to fight our way back to move forward, however moving forward is exactly what we did!
As children we don't understand the weight our parents carry, we don't see the tears shed and the late nights getting things done after a long day at work. To us as children, everything just magically happened, laundry was done, dishes cleaned, dinner on the table, etc., etc. As we grow we learn and understand so much more. Our behaviors, and our thoughts, are faith molded by our parents at least it was 40 years ago. Unfortunately, in today's world so much is dictated by the world outside of our homes. I'm thankful for my upbringing and those who surrounded me as they gave me the strength I've needed over my lifetime, especially the last few years.
As my Mom navigated her new world with me back in 1976, I have navigated my new world with her since around 2019. I'd seen signs, family, and friends had noticed differences in Mom, but no one ever wanted to discuss or admit what we all knew. I moved out of the house in 1989 and Mom had lived on her own since then. She had a routine and was used to doing things on her own and her way. She even cared for her parents as they aged and was a caregiver for her mom after her dad passed away. A kind and gentle soul with an ornery side, who would help anyone in any way she could. After my dad passed my mom made a point to send sympathy cards to anyone she knew had lost a loved one, no that is nothing out of the ordinary, however every year on the anniversary of the death, she would send a Thinking of you card. She always said, "I know what it is like to lose someone." "At first everyone is there offering to help, bringing food, etc., etc. and then they all go away, it is the year later when you need the support after you've had time to grieve." That hits home for me now more than ever. For the past several years I've been grieving and in the beginning, people were all around us and then they weren't. One day, my mom looked at me and said, "Well, here we are again, just you and me."
Mom had a couple of falls that led us to learn of the plaque buildup on her brain, this is what happens when you have dementia and ALZ. To this day researchers do not know for sure what causes this, they have theories, but nothing concrete at this time. The repeated questions and the forgetting of simple things that had been routine for her most of her adult life were just a couple of the signs we saw. Looking back, I now believe Mom knew too, but as with all of us didn't want to admit it. This independent woman was losing her independence little by little and it scared us all!
Fast forward through two years of excuse my language, but hell! A rollercoaster ride like none I've ever experienced. I tried my best to keep Mom at home, I thought it was best for her and me. I was so very wrong! Mom was little by little becoming a person I never knew. It was heartbreaking on so many levels. Then amid a terrible situation, GOD stepped in. HE placed in front of me the decisions that needed to be made and gave me the strength to make them, just as he had done all those years ago with my Mom. Now, it was my turn to sacrifice and do what needed to be done for my hero, my mom!
It hasn't been easy, but then GOD never promised it would be. There were days I didn't think I could take another breath and nights I cried myself to sleep. Until conversations with two different women I know changed everything. They helped me realize my purpose and also reminded me to be a daughter. To love my mom, hug her, hold her hand, and simply be her daughter. It has taken some time and many tears have been shed, but I've learned so much. On those days when Mom asks me, "Why?" I tell her that I feel, " GOD put us on this path at this time for a reason." "Maybe the reason is to raise funds and spread awareness so no one else suffers through this disease." "Maybe the reason is to spend more time together, I've shared some of the most special moments of my life with my mom over these past few years and had conversations we never would have had." Those are moments I will carry in my heart forever. "Maybe the reason is for people to take a step back, to slow down, and to understand what family, love, and sacrifice mean." I could go on and on, but you get the point. I do know that what has come from this is my renewed faith. I have never felt as close to GOD as I do now. Out of the darkness there came light! People have entered our lives and exited our lives during this process and I firmly believe it was all part of God's plan for us. My purpose all along has been to care for my Mom as she cared for me.
When I think of the days just a couple of years ago of Mom not speaking much, wanting to sleep all day, and just plain wanting to die it breaks my heart that I did not stand up sooner, then I remind myself that GOD wanted us to go through it to come out on the other side, stronger and with our eyes wide open. Now I can sit with my mom listening to a woman play Broadway tunes on a piano as we sing along with smiles and laughter. We laugh, we talk and although I know she won't remember my visit or our conversation, I know that for a short period, I was able to bring her some joy and laughter he a world that is now so mixed up to her. I guess that is the going full circle everyone speaks of.
I feel very blessed to be sharing this journey with my Mom, do I wish things were different of course, but I've had to accept life for what it is and move forward. I know what lies ahead for my mom and I will be hard. At 94 years young she is an amazing woman who has come to terms with the change in direction her life has once again taken. There is a calmness about her, a peace about her. She is ready to leave this world when GOD calls her home and has spoken to me many times about it. I dread the day but also I pray that it is a sunny, warm day with big white fluffy clouds. One of the things she enjoys most is Lo looking out her window or being outside and looking at those big white fluffy clouds. We've had many talks about her being "ready" and I've told her that when the time comes to run into my dad's, her husband's arms and never let him go. There will be tough days ahead, one day I could walk into her room and her mind will tell her she doesn't know me, I just hold to the fact that her heart will always know.
Sabías que:
Más de 6 millones de estadounidenses viven con Alzheimer's. Para 2050, se prevé que este número aumente a casi 13 millones.
1 de cada 3 personas mayores muere con Alzheimer's u otra demencia. Mata más que el cáncer de mama y el cáncer de próstata combinados.
Más de 11 millones de estadounidenses brindan cuidados no remunerados a personas con Alzheimer's u otras demencias.
El riesgo de por vida de Alzheimer's at age 45 is 1 in 5 for women and 1 in 10 for men.
Between 2020 and 2030, 1.2 million additional direct care workers will be needed to care for the growing population of people living with dementia - the largest worker gap in the U.S.
Por favor, vaya a alz.org para obtener más información.
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Gracias por ayudar a avanzar el apoyo, la atención y la investigación del Alzheimer.
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